german girl – blogging in english
Just went to the kitchen, where Georgie is about to preparing dinner,
and kissed him as passionately as I can.
I love him.
I really do.
He is the most stunning person I´ve ever known.
I love to live with him.
And I can´t wait to have children with him because I know, that
he will be a wonderful father and we will have a lot of fun.
Honey, I love you!
On August 22nd, the sister of one of Georgies best friends is
getting married in Italy, Sicilia.
They are Italians and live in Germany, but the daughter is marrying
an italyan guy and they will live in Italy after the wedding.
And we are invited and are planning now to go by car to Italy
for the wedding and stay for two weeks.
We want to go on August 14th.
Our first real vacation and what a great one.
Well, I hope it will be agreat one.
How amazing will it be to drive through whole Italy by car?
And I can´t wait to go to the wedding.
These Italians are soo great and nice.
I spend new years eve 2007 to 2008 with them and it
was awesome. Great people with great hearts.
So I´m really looking forward to this vacation …..
also for another reason. I don´t want to say too much
(because who knows what happens?)….but lets just say:
I think Italy and vacation is a great combination to
make a lot of loooove!!! 😉
Over 4 months. Way too long!
We were visiting my parents yesterday in my hometown.
They miss me. Thats obvious.
Before, I lived just around the corner, visiting
them at least once a week.
Now I live one hour by car away.
We took a long walk and they called my attantion to every
empty apartement or house on our way.
They want me to come back home some day.
I love my hometown. Its small and nice and quiet.
I growed up there. I know every path and every stone.
I would love to be near my family again.
Let my kids play at the same places as I did.
But, since this year I don´t feel very comfortable then I
am outside on the streets in my hometown; even on the
way to my parents in the car.
I´m always afraid that my Ex-boyfriend or one of his
family or friends come around the corner and I have to
face him/them.
I know its ridicolous.
But do I want to live always in “fear” then I go outside?
The town is so small that you have to meet some day
in the supermarket or somewhere one day.
Maybe it will be forgotten in a few years, but at the
moment I dont think so because how the last month
went. (he is miserable, very)
Another point is, in my hometown the shools are not
that good and you don´t have any good opportunitys
for shopping or going out or do anything.
Potsdam is great. I love the town.
But raising children in a city?
Far away from my family?
Well, I don´t have to think about that now.
Because, as long as it is just the two of us, and even
when we have a child, as long as its under two years
old we could stay in our apartement here in Potsdam.
But where do we want to settle down?
Where do we want to build our house, our home?
Georgi is, as always, totally relaxed about that.
He is sure, that something perfect will come up for us.
And maybe he is right. Maybe a great opportunity
will find us then its time.
I´m looking forward to see what it will be.
… or: “how it really started”
Today, one year ago, it was Tuesday.
Today, one year ago, I wore a grey skirt, a black turleneck
pullover and black boots.
Today, one year ago, a magazine had a fotoshooting in
our factory.
Today, one year ago, in the evening I had to go to a seminar
for three days in another town.
Today, one year ago, when I got to work early in the morning,
I first went in Georgis office and put an beautiful, red, shiny
apple on his desk. (together with some cookies)
Today, one year ago, later that day, Georgi ambled by my
office playing with the stem of the apple in his hand and gave
me an strange look…..
Later he told me, that this the moment was when he realized
that he is in love with me and that I must feel the same way;
and that this the reason is why we are sitting in the kitchen
at work every day so late and talking.
So, I guess this was the moment where everything started.
Even if it took one more month to….. later more about that.
Happy Apple-Day Honey.
I love you.
At this very moment I wish I would be pregnant.
I want to have a child. A wonderful little person half
of me, half of Georgi. A child that we could love
more than everything in the world, that we could show
the nature, teach it to become a good person.
All this I desire to in this very moment.
But I know it´s to soon.
I have to work.
We have to save more money.
I want to have a little more time with Georgi alone.
I want to get married first.
But today in one year, I want to have all this done.
And then, today in one year, I hope we both decide
to set up a family.
Because I feel, that it´s time then.
Its just an 2,5 hour drive away from Potsdam.
It was great to be at the sea again. I love it.
More pictures at Flickr!
I´m going throug so many ups and downs lately….
In the last few nights I woke up about 2 or 3 oclock in the
morning and started to cry.
I think a lot of V. Especially in the nights. I´m getting so
sad because I know that he is not happy. That he misses me..
Sometimes, I have really horrible thoughts.
That I lost my one and only soulmate. That leaving him was
the biggest mistake in my life. That I miss him so much
that it hurts. That something will happen with Georgie and me.
That we won´t stay together. That I can´t love him this much
as I love(d ?) V.
That I will never be happy again because I just can´t let go.
And then its morning again and there is this sweet man who
smiles at me, who shares always his last bite with me, who gives
me the feeling to be the greatest person in the world, who loves
me so much. And all I want is to be happy with him. Stay with him,
have kids, a big house, have a dog and a duck (don´t ask),
grew old together….
I´m switching between this thougths the whole time. Sometimes more,
sometimes less.
Will it be over one day?
Will I be happy?
(Sarah, since I´ve found your blog I always have this song in my mind)
I am 27 years old. I will turn 28 in December.
I am not married yet and don´t have a child.
And sometimes, I´m asking me: why?
I had a boyfriend for 11 years. We met when I was 15 and he 19.
We loved each other and lived together for over 11 years, until
December of the last year. Then it ends. (but this is another story)
We never got married or had a child becaus; first we were to young, then,
I couldn´t find a job for a long time and we had no money for anything.
So we were rational and wanted to wait for all this for better times.
But, so many young people get children anyway. You can always raise
a child if you have to. What you need the most for that is Love.
There are days, when I just can´t wait to have a child.
Get pregnant, hold a baby, my baby in my arms for the very first time,
raise a kid and shows it the world and give so much love…..
I am not trying to get pregnant. Georgie and I are together for about 8 months
now, that is too soon. And I want to get married first.
We are talking about to maybe get married in one year and try to have
a baby after that.
But can you plan something like that? And what, if something is happen again?
My Ex-boyfriend and I wanted to get married in May this year. So, that never happened.
What if something is coming up again? Anything?
What if it´s just not meant to be for me to be a mother?
I love to watch pictures of babys, children, pregnant women….
I always cry when I see a birth on TV.
I imagine so often what a daugther of us would look like….
But if it hasn´t happen yet, will it ever be happen?
I really hope so.
Qué será será…..
Tina 