Happy Happy Happy

Wow, two entries in one hour. Thats a lot for this blog *lol*

But I have to write down how happy I am in this very moment.

I´m sitting on the couch in our living room and trough all the
three windows the April-morning-sun is floating in and the birds
are singing and I can hear people from the street talking and laughing…

I love the spring. April and May are the most wonderful months in
the year. (Well, I do love almost every month/season and maybe
I will tell you soon that July/August/September/October…
is the best month *lol*)

My mood is so much better since spring is finally here.
The winter was so long.

I love our apartement (that I have to clean the moment
I´m done here)

But I do love that we will hopefully next year at this time live
in the house in my hometown, next to my parents that I told
you about already.

I can´t wait to live there, plant flowers and vegetables
in the garden, paint the old sheds, sit in the sun, have a
fireplace and invite friends for a bonfire or barbecue.
But this is far away… *sigh* (and there is this chance
that we WON`T geht the house… 😦 )

I´m so looking forward to the next months.
I will enjoy the time with Georgie.
On May 1st we will visit his family again and we
will go to a italian eve-of-wedding-party (even if the
wedding is not the next day, but in August).

And in August we will go for two weeks to Italy
for vacation and the big Italian wedding.
I´m so exited about this event, you can´t believe it.
Our first real vacation together that we so much deserve.
I will see Sicilia. Wow. And I will be on a real italian
wedding, how great is that? I´m sure we will have a
wonderful time there.

And something really big is coming up, also around
this time. I made a decision.
I want to have a child. I´m ready now and I don´t
want to wait anymore.

I´ve been waiting so many years now.
I can feel, that now is the right time.
My “plan” is, to drop contraception in July and
hopefully in vacation… 

 So, if its works instantly, maybe I will have a baby
one year from now?
I know that it also can take a while. And I´m not
forcing something. Lets just see what happens. *grin*

What I´m also happy about?
At the moment, a lot of things. Really.

I´m happy about:
– the wonderful sunshine outside
– the song of the birds
– that the book that I´m reading at the moment is getting thrilling
– that somehow everything will turn out good at work
– that we will buy a Nikon 300 soon
  (oh boy, all the money… *sigh*)
– that my parents are the best in the world and love me so much
– that Georgies niece finally find out how to ride a bike
– that Georgies niece told her mom, as she saw a photo of us,
   that she loves us
– that I found such a nice shirt two days ago
– that my skin looks lovely after a day in the sun
– that there are so wonderful people (unfortunatly far far away,
   but they are there) *hug*
–  that I have the most wonderful man on my side
    who is the Yin for my Yang
– that I hopefully have a beautiful, wonderful child soon
   and raise it with much of love
-….. 

So this will really be an exiting year this year and I will
enjoy every single day. 

What are you happy about today?

much too long

 

On August 22nd, the sister of one of Georgies best friends is
getting married in Italy, Sicilia.
They are Italians and live in Germany, but the daughter is marrying
an italyan guy and they will live in Italy after the wedding.
And we are invited and are planning now to go by car to Italy
for the wedding and stay for two weeks.
We want to go on August 14th.

Our first real vacation and what a great one.
Well, I hope it will be agreat one. 
How amazing will it be to drive through whole Italy by car?
And I can´t wait to go to the wedding.
These Italians are soo great and nice.
I spend new years eve 2007 to 2008 with them and it
was awesome. Great people with great hearts.

So I´m really looking forward to this vacation …..
also for another reason. I don´t want to say too much
(because who knows what happens?)….but lets just say:
I think Italy and vacation is a great combination to
make a lot of loooove!!! 😉

Over 4 months. Way too long!

If somebody is interested in

This is my german blog:

Miss Pappnase
Of course its in german so maybe YOU don´t understand what I wrote there.
But I just want to show you, because its my blog, my virtual home.
Georgie made this nice header, which is full with stuff of my life.

I write a lot more there when I do here, of course.
Uh, I have to change this. Maybe I can start to write everything in both blogs.

We will see if I can do this.

Anyway, have a very nice Sunday and a good start in the new week.

xox

Another month went by

Sorry for that.

Is anybody reading this blog ?

Not much news about the house that I told you about in my
last posting.

Well, the old woman died. What is of course really sad. On the other
hand it means, that now the house will be definetly selled.

The contract with the old women is running til April 1st.
After that they will sell it. I already called the agency.
It will be like that: they will make an advertise and make a price.
Then where will be an announcement in different newspapers.
Later there is a viewing-day and after that you can
bid on the house. And the one who bids the most will get it.
Thats it.
And they won´t tell you later what someone else bid to give you
a chance to rise your bid. No. You just have on shot.
Well, so we will need a lot of luck to get it. Need your whishes.

Otherwise I´m really fine. I´m good at work. I finished
something really important and now I have time again
to to my real work. That is a great feeling.

Georgi and I have a lot of fun.
We watched all seasons of Gilmore Girls on DVD and it was sooo great.
I always loved the girls and now Georgi is a fan too. *g*

Now we got the whole DVD-Box of Alias.
We are almost done with the first season and I´m not really into
it yet. But maybe its getting better.

Everything is so great at the moment.
The thing with the house, work is O.K. and finally I can really enjoy
everything around me.
The weather is bad. Well, its February in Europe, what do you expect.
I´m looking forward March and April, the spring…. *sigh*

I´m a really happy girl this time and I enjoy every single moment.

please do not disturb

Desire

At this very moment I wish I would be pregnant.
I want to have a child. A wonderful little person half
of me, half of Georgi. A child that we could love
more than everything in the world, that we could show
the nature, teach it to become a good person.

All this I desire to in this very moment.

But I know it´s to soon.
I have to work.
We have to save more money.
I want to have a little more time with Georgi alone.
I want to get married first.

But today in one year, I want to have all this done.
And then, today in one year, I hope we both decide
to set up a family.

Because I feel, that it´s time then.

one-day-trip to the baltic sea

Its just an 2,5 hour drive away from Potsdam.

It was great to be at the sea again. I love it.

 

More pictures at Flickr!

Thy left

The whole last week Georgies sister with her family
where visiting us.

They loved Potsdam.
It was nice to have them near for this week.

But we are also glad that they are back home again. 😉

Sitting two kids a whole day was really kinda exhausting.
And I´m considering again to have kids by myself.

This two kids are adorable. Really. I love them.
But I was always happy to give them back to their
mother at the end of the day.

When I have own children, I have to be there
24 hours a day, every day. There are no
excuses like illness or no sleep.
What if I´ll get annoyed by my own kids?
What if I´ll get angry with them because
I can´t handle that?

O.K., I´m sure its different with own kids.
You love them a thousand times more than
nieces and nephews.
But…

O.K. I have to stop think about this stuff.
I wanna have kids.
And so I have to go through all this.

I´m a little scared. But I´m sure thats every
woman before she becomes a mother.

When the time is right, it will happen.

Ups and Downs

I´m going throug so many ups and downs lately….

In the last few nights I woke up about 2 or 3 oclock in the 
morning and started to cry.

I think a lot of V. Especially in the nights. I´m getting so
sad because I know that he is not happy. That he misses me..
Sometimes, I have really horrible thoughts.
That I lost my one and only soulmate. That leaving him was
the biggest mistake in my life. That I miss him so much
that it hurts. That something will happen with Georgie and me.
That we won´t stay together. That I can´t love him this much
as I love(d ?) V. 

That I will never be happy again because I just can´t let go. 

And then its morning again and there is this sweet man who
smiles at me, who shares always his last bite with me, who gives
me the feeling to be the greatest person in the world, who loves
me so much. And all I want is to be happy with him. Stay with him,
have kids, a big house, have a dog and a duck (don´t ask),
grew old together…. 

I´m switching between this thougths the whole time. Sometimes more,
sometimes less. 

Will it be over one day?
Will I be happy?

Qué será será ?

(Sarah, since I´ve found your blog I always have this song in my mind)

I am 27 years old. I will turn 28 in December.
I am not married yet and don´t have a child.
And sometimes, I´m asking me: why?

I had a boyfriend for 11 years. We met when I was 15 and he 19.
We loved each other and lived together for over 11 years, until
December of the last year. Then it ends. (but this is another story) 

We never got married or had a child becaus; first we were to young, then,
I couldn´t find a job for a long time and we had no money for anything.

So we were rational and wanted to wait for all this for better times.

But, so many young people get children anyway. You can always raise
a child if you have to. What you need the most for that is Love.

 

There are days, when I just can´t wait to have a child.
Get pregnant, hold a baby, my baby in my arms for the very first time,
raise a kid and shows it the world and give so much love…..

I am not trying to get pregnant. Georgie and I are together for about 8 months
now, that is too soon. And I want to get married first.

We are talking about to maybe get married in one year and try to have
a baby after that.

But can you plan something like that? And what, if something is happen again?
My Ex-boyfriend and I wanted to get married in May this year. So, that never happened.

What if something is coming up again? Anything?

What if it´s just not meant to be for me to be a mother? 

I love to watch pictures of babys, children, pregnant women…. 
I always cry when I see a birth on TV.
I imagine so often what a daugther of us would look like….

But if it hasn´t happen yet, will it ever be happen?

I really hope so.

Qué será será…..